In less than 24 hours we will be on a plane to Florida. I think we're both anxious. We need this to work.

Genevieve has started to follow a couple facebook pages of other girls with CRPS. She is slowly learning a little more about it. She is silently processing. It breaks my heart.

Genevieve has been back in her boot for the last couple of days. She had a lot of swelling after her last PT appointment and was in a lot of pain AKA "waffles" walking. I read somewhere that it helps to not use the word pain. I've given up trying to understand all the reasons why things work or don't work and just accept some things at face value. So when we have to talk about pain we say waffles, but we try not to talk about waffles all that much. We also don't talk about the way her foot looks and feels so when I see color changes or feel a temperature change I don't tell her. Something about the neural pathways...

I'm still trying to decide what to do with this blog. I haven't shared the link with anyone.  It feels strange to be leaving our lives behind for a couple weeks when I have hardly told anyone about this. It's a bit lonely for me and I wonder if it is lonely for Genevieve too. It's like I just can't wrap my brain around it. This is the scariest thing I have ever been through. There have been some really dark days.  I guess I don't know how to put this out there and be real about it without also being incredibly vulnerable. And how much do I want this "out there"anyway. I don't need a bunch of likes on facebook. I don't want a bunch of empty promises of prayers and good thoughts. I guess what I truly want is for people to get on their knees with me. I have no understanding of how God chooses who to heal and not heal and I don't think the more people I get to pray with me will alter his will. Yet I do want people to PRAY. I want people to pray for healing. I want people to pray for peace and comfort for Genevieve.

I want to bring awareness to CRPS. I want people to know about it so that there are less people being misdiagnosed for years. I want doctors to get more education about it. I want there to be more research and for a cure to be found SOON.  Yet I'm not ready to tell the masses and answer hard questions yet. So I'm conflicted.

For now, I guess I'm really just wanting to share with OUR PEOPLE.